Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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