You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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