so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
