3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
