What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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