well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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