worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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