I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
