its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
