Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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