Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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