I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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