I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
