do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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