You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
