so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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