You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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