fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
