i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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