I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
