Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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