Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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