Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
