Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
