tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
