You just made me feel so damn special
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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