Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
