my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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