Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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