oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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