yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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