dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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