shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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