Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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