Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
