I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Panties = found
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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