im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
