YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
