Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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