i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
