I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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