was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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