the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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