How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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