Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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