If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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