Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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