no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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