Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Sober January is a disaster.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
