I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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