Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
