I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
