The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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