More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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