My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
