Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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