Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
