doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
