its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
