you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
